Today, I want to share something that extends beyond technology. It's about a concept that's simple yet profound: mental fitness. I first heard about it during a presentation by Wayne Holdsworth from SmackTalk. Wayne's perspective on mental fitness shifted the way I think about well-being, and I believe it could help reshape how we approach our kids' online lives too.
A new way to start the conversation Wayne pointed out something that really stuck with me: asking binary questions like, "Are you okay?" often leads to simple, "Yes" or "No" answers. While well-intentioned, these questions don't always spark meaningful conversations. On the other hand, asking about mental fitness opens the door to deeper dialogue.
He also highlighted how we're naturally good at asking each other about physical fitness. It's easy to see someone limping or tired and start a conversation about it. But mental fitness is often invisible, making it harder to notice when someone might need support.
After attending Wayne's presentation, I decided to try something new during our next team meeting. I went around the room and asked my colleagues to rate their physical fitness on a scale of 1 to 10. Then I asked them to do the same for their mental fitness. The responses were eye-opening. What started as a simple exercise turned into a meaningful discussion about our lives, challenges and stressors. It was a moment of connection and understanding that I'll never forget.
What is 'mental fitness'? Wayne explained mental fitness as an alternative to the term mental health - a phrase that can sometimes carry stigma. Mental fitness, on the other hand, evokes a sense of empowerment and proactive care. It's about asking:
- How strong is my mind today?
- Am I equipped to handle challenges?
- What can I do to build resilience and joy?
Just as we encourage our kids to stay physically active and practice drills to improve their basketball skills, we can inspire them to strengthen their mental fitness. And, as parents and guardians, it's a question we can ask ourselves too.
Applying this at home Inspired by this experience, I began asking my 12-year-old son about his mental fitness. Every day, I'd say, "How's your mental fitness today? Give me a score from 1 to 10." Over time, I've come to understand what his scores mean. On most days, he's at a 9-but when he dips to a 6, it's a signal for us to talk.
These conversations have given me insights into his world-from school challenges to friendships, to how he perceives changes in his life. Knowing why his mental fitness dips or peaks has strengthened our relationship and helped me support him in ways I wouldn't have otherwise known to.
Building a practice of mental fitness Wayne's question has transformed not just how I parent, but how I interact with others. Here are a few tips to bring this practice into your home:
- Ask thoughtful questions: Replace "Are you okay?" with "How's your mental fitness today?" Encourage your kids to reflect and share.
- Create a safe space: Make it clear that all answers are valid, and there's no judgment. This fosters trust and openness.
- Celebrate the highs, explore the lows: When your child shares a high score, celebrate what's going well. When they share a low score, gently explore what's causing it and how you can support them.
- Model the behaviour: Share your own mental fitness score with your family. This normalises the practice and shows that it's okay to have ups and downs.
Why mental fitness matters online The online world can be both a playground and a battlefield. It's a place where kids can forge friendships, discover interests, and learn-but also encounter negativity, peer pressure, and harmful content. This duality is why mental fitness is essential. By fostering mental resilience, our kids can navigate these challenges with confidence and balance.
When we use Joey to look at our child's online interactions, we're not just assessing their safety or flagging concerning conversations. We're also asking:
- Does this space contribute to their mental fitness?
- Are their interactions positive and supportive?
- Do they have the tools to manage conflicts or setbacks?
Thank you, Wayne Thanks to Wayne Holdsworth, I now have a tool that's helping me build better conversations not just at work, but with my family. Mental fitness has become a cornerstone of how we approach wellbeing, and it's making a difference in our lives.
At Joey we're here to help parents/guardians have these kinds of meaningful conversations. Together, we can ensure our kids grow up not just safe, but thriving, both online and offline.
