Top five things parents/guardians want to know about their kid's online world [survey results]

As a parent, if there are just three things you could know about your child's online world, what would they be?

That's exactly the question I asked myself when I first started looking at my son's 10,000+ iMessages. Where do I even begin? What's the most important thing to look for? Wow, there are so many messages!!

But before I answered those questions for myself, I wanted to hear from other parents. As part of the Joey design process, we asked more than 100 parents a simple but powerful question:

The responses were eye-opening, and they directly shaped the Joey Smart Alerts and Flags system, one of the core features of Joey Family. The Smart Alert approach helps parents identify risks while respecting their child's independence. Setting clear digital ground rules is essential, but having visibility into potential issues is equally important.

See Joey Smart Alerts and Flags in action

Here are the top five concerns that emerged from our survey, along with insights into how we've designed Joey to address these needs. If you're interested in how we've personally handled this in our family, see the digital ground rules we use at home.

Read our family digital ground rules

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#1 - Is my child safe?

Strangers, peer pressure and inappropriate content

Far and away, the #1 concern among parents/guardians was safety. Parents/guardians want to know:

• Is my child talking to strangers?
• Are they being pressured into things they aren't comfortable with?
• Are they being exposed to harmful content?

Many parents/guardians put it bluntly: "Is my kid safe from peer bullying? Are they safe from predators? This one's probably top of the list!" "Who is my kid talking to?" "Are they being exposed to inappropriate content? And are people acting inappropriately towards them?"

Some parents/guardians want a simple traffic-light signals for safety, where 'Green = all good, Yellow = let's talk, Red = major concern.'

How Joey helps: The Joey Smart Alerts system was designed with Risky Contacts Verification, inappropriate content, profanity, and bullying, so parents/guardians get the right level of insight without reading every message.

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#2 - What is my child actually doing online?

Apps, screen time and searches

Many parents/guardians don't just want to know about who their child is talking to - but where they are spending their time online.

• Which apps and sites do they visit the most?
• How much time are they spending online?
• What are they searching for?

"I want to know how much time they spend on each app and what kind of content they consume."

"I want to know what sites they're on, what content they're viewing, and what conversations they're having."

How Joey can help?

While we use Screen, App and Downtime controls in our family, it isn't really a surprise that many parents, like us, still don't know what their kids are doing online and what controls should be set up.

In our next major feature, Joey will pull together all the screen time settings you have set per child and give recommendations on what changes to the controls you can put in.

Joey will also aggregate online activity and provide a single view of your child's online activity, app usage and search trends. Instead of spying, Joey can provide conversation starters for parents and guardians such as, "Hey, I noticed you're on [app] a lot, what do you like about it?"

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#3 - Is my child ok?

Emotional wellbeing and friendships

A surprising and deeply important theme from parents in our survey group was not just safety, but happiness. Are my kids ok?

• Are they stressed?
• Are they struggling with friendships?
• Are they feeling left out or bullied?
• What's going on emotionally in their online world?

"Are you happy? What brings you joy? What are you grateful for today?" "How are they coping with friends? Are they respected? Do they treat others with respect?" "Is my son ever feeling peer pressure? Is there a dark side to his online world?"

How Joey can help? Joey doesn't just flag danger - it can also detect emotional tone changes in messaging. If there's a sudden shift in language (e.g. frustration, loneliness or stress), it can be a prompt for us parents to check in. Take a look at Joey's 'How's My Child? report', one of or core features that provides a holistic view of your child's wellbeing and social relationships, formed by understanding your child's digital footprint - the only app that assess your child's complete history of messaging to really understand who your child is.

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#4 - Is my child talking about risky topics?

Sex, porn, vaping, violence, and other concerning content

The parents we surveyed told us they need to know if their child's online conversations were heading into risky or inappropriate territory.

• Are they swearing excessively?
• Are they talking about sexual topics too early?
• Are they using disrespectful language? This czn verge in hate speech, racism, denegrating women, etc.

"Swear words, strangers, and sexual references-that's what I want to know about." "Does my son respect women? Are there any issues with gender disrespect?"

How Joey helps: Joey doesn't just detect swear words - it helps parents/guardians understand context. A harmless joke between friends is different from an aggressive insult. The system flags the most concerning conversations first, not just every minor bad word.

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#5 - Is my child following our family's digital rules?

Family digital rules and boundaries

Many parents/guardians already set digital ground rules, but how do they know if their child is following them?

• Are they sticking to screen time limits?
• Are they avoiding restricted apps and sites?
• Are they being honest about their online activity?

"Is my kid living up to the guidelines we set? Trust but verify." "Are they telling me everything they're doing?" "Are they interacting with strangers online?"

How Joey helps: Joey isn't just about flagging risks-it's about reinforcing trust. Parents/guardians can use Joey's insights to have better conversations and adjust rules over time as kids earn more freedom.

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Conclusion: What did we learn? Our survey confirms what most parents/guardians already feel instinctively: we want to know if our children are safe, if they're being treated well, and if they're behaving appropriately online.

As parents, we want the right balance between giving our kids privacy and independence while still protecting them from genuine harm.

Joey was built specifically to address these concerns in a way that respects both parents/guardians need to keep their children safe and teenagers growing need for independence and privacy. If you're interested in learning more about our approach, check out why I created Joey as a parent.

Why I created Joey as a parent

Want to learn more about setting appropriate boundaries? Read our comprehensive guide on the digital ground rules we set in our family.

Digital ground rules we set in our family

For a kid's perspective on these issues, you might also enjoy reading about the impact of social media on teen mental health, written by my son, Francis.

Finally, if you would like to know what we first learned when we began using Joey. Some of what I share in this Article is senstive and a little embarrassing, but I think it is worth sharing if this helps other parents learn what practical options are out there that might be right for them. I don't care if you use Joey, I care that parents are aware that they do have options and they don't have to dispair.

Three things we learned from AI message monitoring, and a confession

How Joey helps Joey analyses your child's messages across all platforms and summarises what you need to know about these key concerns. Our AI has been trained to understand the nuances of teen communication, slang and coded language while still respecting their privacy.